![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rotedo yet again i haven't posted in a hot second. as usual many things have happened since i last posed, namely my trip to shanghai. it was really an interesting experience. i learned a lot about china and the reality of communist countries and censorship of the internet. it's really something when you actually have to carefully think over what you're going to say in a private text message because you don't know if the government of that country is going to get angry about whatever you have to say. let alone, accidentally mentioning things that are illegal to mention. i've never had to worry about speech crimes in america (beyond hate speech, but that goes without saying). outside of the unfamiliar, i really appreciated the technological advancements of shanghai as a city and how it melded seamlessly with the more traditional architecture. i have a lot of pictures and more miles on the road of life, so overall i really enjoyed it. and i realized how much harder it is in a foreign country where you don't speak or even read the language, at all. certainly a hurdle.
otherwise, i've returned home. it's quiet and calm and warm as usual. nothing has changed here, yet my plans for the future shift almost ceaselessly. to the point where i wonder if i'll have a concrete plan about anything ever. i have to decide where i'm going to in a few months, if i'll get x certification in x field, where i'll be traveling to and how much money i'll have to do it--if not what am i going to do to get it? i'm still piddling away at my desk job three days a week (four at the moment because my shanghai trip took a bite out of my time). the money is okay, but i can't help but feel like i desperately need a job where i'm on my feet more, and even more, that involves teaching in some way for the sake of work experience. but the idea of fixing up a resume and applying to jobs unsettles my illusion of calm, lazy days before diving into a career and so i put it off, like i put off everything that takes even an ounce of effort.
i have a flight booked for korea again this july. i alternate between being overly invested in planning and wondering if i'll have the money to eat anything other than rice while i'm there. the problem stems from bts announcing the continuation of their world tour, which for some reason means turning right back around and hitting the US again. good news for my little army heart, bad news for my rapidly decreasing bank account. but of course, i'm going to try to go. at this point in my life, bts concerts in the US aren't so much about bts as they are about meeting up with all the friends thousands of miles away that i otherwise wouldn't have if not for them. i can't miss out! which means cutting corners somewhere, i just don't know where quite yet.
my language studying and tefl certification are going horribly like most things that require motivation and self discipline do with me. i'm having a renewed vigor after returning from my trip. but having to work so much to make up hours is definitely not conducive to a learning environment. i'm hoping that this new laptop that i have will provide some sort of stimulus. at the very least i'd like to review what i do know to make sure i don't forget about that. we'll see. i'll return with hopes of properly using this journal please wish me luck, i'm so sleepy form all these full work days. the human mind should not be forced to wake up at ungodly hours.
(also, apparently someone was murdered in my apartment complex and i'm not sure how i feel about it, but the word 'safe' definitely does not come to mind)
otherwise, i've returned home. it's quiet and calm and warm as usual. nothing has changed here, yet my plans for the future shift almost ceaselessly. to the point where i wonder if i'll have a concrete plan about anything ever. i have to decide where i'm going to in a few months, if i'll get x certification in x field, where i'll be traveling to and how much money i'll have to do it--if not what am i going to do to get it? i'm still piddling away at my desk job three days a week (four at the moment because my shanghai trip took a bite out of my time). the money is okay, but i can't help but feel like i desperately need a job where i'm on my feet more, and even more, that involves teaching in some way for the sake of work experience. but the idea of fixing up a resume and applying to jobs unsettles my illusion of calm, lazy days before diving into a career and so i put it off, like i put off everything that takes even an ounce of effort.
i have a flight booked for korea again this july. i alternate between being overly invested in planning and wondering if i'll have the money to eat anything other than rice while i'm there. the problem stems from bts announcing the continuation of their world tour, which for some reason means turning right back around and hitting the US again. good news for my little army heart, bad news for my rapidly decreasing bank account. but of course, i'm going to try to go. at this point in my life, bts concerts in the US aren't so much about bts as they are about meeting up with all the friends thousands of miles away that i otherwise wouldn't have if not for them. i can't miss out! which means cutting corners somewhere, i just don't know where quite yet.
my language studying and tefl certification are going horribly like most things that require motivation and self discipline do with me. i'm having a renewed vigor after returning from my trip. but having to work so much to make up hours is definitely not conducive to a learning environment. i'm hoping that this new laptop that i have will provide some sort of stimulus. at the very least i'd like to review what i do know to make sure i don't forget about that. we'll see. i'll return with hopes of properly using this journal please wish me luck, i'm so sleepy form all these full work days. the human mind should not be forced to wake up at ungodly hours.
(also, apparently someone was murdered in my apartment complex and i'm not sure how i feel about it, but the word 'safe' definitely does not come to mind)
