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creative crossroads
9 February 2020 06:53i'm still working tirelessly at the behemoth, chipping away at it slowly and steadily and with not a small amount of whining and complaining along the way. it's come to my attention, though, as i reach 155k+ words that maintaining a steady flow of ideas after writing this much story isn't nearly as easy as i had been led to believe. more often now, i'm finding myself running up to a plot point in my fic where i'm unsure of which direction to take. i have the entire thing outlined, i know where i need to get to, i'm just unsure of the best way of getting there. i call it the "creative crossroads" and it's driving me nuts, hindering my writing in the process.
i don't really know how to solve this issue, only that it exists. i frequently am striving to reach a specific point in my outline, but i think to myself pausing literally mid typing to ponder the best way to get there. i think, oh should i cut this scene here and start the next chapter inside the destination? is the route important to the story? will something interesting be happening on that journey? if the answer is no, i think then well, but do i even have a good stopping point for this end scene? is there enough oomph to end the chapter here rather than at the destination? and then i overthink myself into a nonwriting mess of confusion. aka the creative crossroads. various paths extend ahead of me but i can't pick one for fear of picking the wrong one, the winding endless path that steers me farther from the end of this fic.
so here i am writing about it in here instead of brainstorming the solution and writing. i think in some ways it's just another method of procrastination. another way for me to avoid having to write because i "don't know where to go" and thus have a good excuse. probably in the past i didn't have this issue as much because i wasn't concerned with meandering off into no man's land like i am now. so far into this behemoth, i have a fear that i'll pick a direction that'll make it even longer than it already is. i just want to get to the plot point i need to get to and i want the best, least boring way of doing it. but that's so hard now when so much story has already been told :(
oh well, writing here isn't going to solve the problem for me. usually i brainstorm it out with my sister but she's asleep right now. i might just keep typing and throw caution to the wind. i'm literally THIS CLOSE to finally being done with the majority of the fic, hitting the climax and careening down to the finale. and i think being so close to that keeps making me a bit more cautious when i would normally be clicking along without a care in the world. i just want to finish it and quit accidentally adding thousands of words worth of unoriginally planned scenes haha.
anyways, i'm logging off right now before i end up wasting all my time and energy on writing this instead of the behemoth.
i don't really know how to solve this issue, only that it exists. i frequently am striving to reach a specific point in my outline, but i think to myself pausing literally mid typing to ponder the best way to get there. i think, oh should i cut this scene here and start the next chapter inside the destination? is the route important to the story? will something interesting be happening on that journey? if the answer is no, i think then well, but do i even have a good stopping point for this end scene? is there enough oomph to end the chapter here rather than at the destination? and then i overthink myself into a nonwriting mess of confusion. aka the creative crossroads. various paths extend ahead of me but i can't pick one for fear of picking the wrong one, the winding endless path that steers me farther from the end of this fic.
so here i am writing about it in here instead of brainstorming the solution and writing. i think in some ways it's just another method of procrastination. another way for me to avoid having to write because i "don't know where to go" and thus have a good excuse. probably in the past i didn't have this issue as much because i wasn't concerned with meandering off into no man's land like i am now. so far into this behemoth, i have a fear that i'll pick a direction that'll make it even longer than it already is. i just want to get to the plot point i need to get to and i want the best, least boring way of doing it. but that's so hard now when so much story has already been told :(
oh well, writing here isn't going to solve the problem for me. usually i brainstorm it out with my sister but she's asleep right now. i might just keep typing and throw caution to the wind. i'm literally THIS CLOSE to finally being done with the majority of the fic, hitting the climax and careening down to the finale. and i think being so close to that keeps making me a bit more cautious when i would normally be clicking along without a care in the world. i just want to finish it and quit accidentally adding thousands of words worth of unoriginally planned scenes haha.
anyways, i'm logging off right now before i end up wasting all my time and energy on writing this instead of the behemoth.
